Strangely, Lou Piniella started to look like Dusty Baker after that season. First, he went from being "Sweet Lou" to a facsimile of the man he had been in Cincy, especially during his war of anger with Milton Bradley. Secondly, he suddenly lost all interest in the kids, suddenly having no use for Geo Soto, among others. Third, Lou, never being a fan of the media throughout his career, suddenly developed an adversarial relationship with the generally adoring Chicago press. Just....like...Dusty.

This season hasn't been much fun. No, strike that. This season has made me understand why Primal Scream therapy works. After a 16-5 clubbing at the hands of the Atlanta Braves in which Carlos Zambrano was pounded and ROTY candidate Jason Heyward demonstrated he did belong in the bigs, the season was off to a horrendous start. Of course,the Cubs wouldn't be the Cubs without having a losing record against half the teams in the National League, without getting killed by Albert Pujols a couple weeks ago, and without going 0-6 against the Pittsburgh Pirates. But, then, recently, Lou Piniella committed the most egregious sin in dealings with the media: He called out an analyst who criticized him for not playing Tyler Colvin. (Who should, like, totally be playing, man.)

The analyst? Beloved Chicago icon Steve Stone. Not the best target for Mr.Piniella, as he chooses a man who was a pretty good player and a damn good color guy. Piniella opens his mouth and says the following:

"We've got a lot of people here that haven't managed and won any games in the big leagues, but they know everything, you know? They really do. I think they should really try and put the uniform on and try this job and see how they like it when they get criticized unjustly, you know? That's all I got to say about that issue."

Sounds innocuous, right? No big deal, it's a man venting. Then comes this gem that opened the floodgates:

"And Steve Stone, he's got enough problems doing what he does with the White Sox," Piniella said in the home dugout, his voice raising. "What job has he had in baseball besides talking on television or radio? What has he done? Why isn't he a farm director and bring some kids around? Why isn't he a general manager? Why hasn't he ever put the uniform on and be a pitching coach? Why hasn't he been a field manager? There are 30 teams out there that could use a guy's expertise like that."

Reading that quote still makes the veins pop out in my neck, and I've been a Cubs fan for 15 years. I sat through some of the worst baseball imaginable (and that's just on the North Side, I find it's not a good idea to bring up Terry Bevington, who proved that as a manager, he was a great third base coach.)

See, what Lou fails to understand is that hiring a manager is completely at the discretion of a general manager. The pitching coach is usually at the choice of the manager. ALSO, as Bevington proved all those years ago, being a manager doesn't mean a blasted thing as far as intelligence goes.

There are plenty of stupid people that were managers, on a repeated basis. Bevington disproves Lou's dumb theory immediately, as do other mangerial dummies. (The name Vern Rapp mean anything to Reds or Cardinals fans?) Also, Stone has been in baseball just as long as Piniella, as both men have been part of five decades of baseball. But the difference between the two is this: One is managing the sinking ship of the 2010 Chicago Cubs, and probably will be quitting following this season. The other has seen thousands of ballplayers and is widely regarded as one of the gems of baseball analysis, who sat at the side of one of the greatest play-by-play men to ever broadcast a game, who watched this damned wretched team for at least a decade. As this season progresses, and my displeasure at the deteriorating skills of a guy once widely regarded as an amazing manager grows, I'll look back at this with an expression much like the one Tony Soprano has when he finds out about Vito Spatafore.

To close this article, Stone's reply is a classic:

"Lou's probably grumpy, because he only went 3-for-11 against me with no RBIs."

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Jim Hendry picked up the fact that the Cubs had a righty-dominated lineup, which in the post-season is not a great thing, and decided to enter the free agent market. He had to choose between the recently released and given up for "old" Bobby Abreu, Three True Outcomes hero Adam Dunn, and divisive, outrageous, appalling Milton Bradley.

Gee, can you tell how I felt about the signing?

The Cubs were picked by every reputable publication and organization to win the NL Central. They were coming off a 97-win season and had added a switch-hitting outfielder, placing him in one of the few ballparks remaining that is completely a slave to the elements, putting him in a lineup that featured MVP candidate Derrek Lee, Aramis Ramirez, and Alfonso Soriano. What could go wrong?

See, every time you ask that question, something always has or will.

St.Louis put it all together that season, getting the usual Albert Pujols death-and-destruction job, but not only getting a good backup season from Ryan Ludwick but acquiring Matt Holliday, who was good in a Cards uniform until the postseason, and their rotation showed up in a big way.

The Cubs, on the other hand, under intense pressure and with a divisive presence in the clubhouse, crashed like the Hindenburg onto a giant spike.

I probably would have been less surprised had Tiger Woods come out for his supposed apology and instead said, "I don't regret anything I did, and you're all just jealous," and then began singing Madonna's "Human Nature" to the shocked audience.

Bradley threw more fuel on the fire when he said that Chicago, both the Cubs and the city has "a culture of negativity" and really shoved the spike in deep when he said "you understand why they've never won anything in a hundred years." Of course, the part we all missed was that not only was he brought in to help the Cubs win the World Series, but that he's never won anything either, and has never been in position to do so, either.

Really sticking in MY craw was that Dunn signed with the Nationals. His season: .267, 38 HR, 105 RBI, and 116 walks. His OBP was .398. I REALLY could have lived with Dunn's defense and strikeouts with numbers like that.

Abreu signed a $6 Million contract with the Angels. Not only did he put up these numbers, ".293-15-103," but he was instrumental in the Angels' run to the ALCS. (Where he didn't do too well, but that doesn't take away from my point.)

Hendry wasted no time dumping Bradley on Seattle for Carlos Silva. Marlon Byrd came aboard to replace Bradley. 2010, with Bradley out of the clubhouse, looks great.

Looks are deceiving, though.

Soriano, for example, is on the hook for 18 million dollars. Last year, his line in an injury-plagued year with 477 official at-bats was ".241-20-55" and he had an OBP of .303. That's not a misprint, a misquote, or a mistake. A man being paid 18 million dollars put up an OBP of .303 and struck out 118 times.

This is also a man who prefers to hit leadoff (though Lou Piniella put an end to that just after the season was pretty much conceded to the Cardinals). A man who has not had a 200 hit season since his second full season in New York. And, a man coming off knee surgery.

Last season Alfonso Soriano played more like Alfonso Ribeiro. And with the knee surgery, there's no indication that that may change, especially since Soriano is 34 years old-an age where most ballplayers begin slowing down. 

Lee is going to be 35 in September. Lee and Aramis Ramirez have been the cornerstone of the Cub offense since Lee's fire-sale aided arrival in Chicago in 2004. This means problems, as Lee's MVP-level season notwithstanding, he could decline at any time.

Lee is my favorite Cub, because he doesn't go the Sammy Sosa route, but he's not exactly Ryne Sandberg (Sandberg's relationship with the media wasn't great because Sandberg never talked ).

Lee talks to the media, but he leads by example. And he's a great guy, from all accounts. It was Lee who put the lie to Bradley's assertion that "his teammates never hate him." Lee, while being diplomatic, frankly said that he and his teammates loathed Bradley.

But, the offense outside of these guys is rather...well, bad, if not average. The pitching, on the other hand...

Carlos Zambrano was once one of my favorite Cubs EVER. As a Cub fan, though, I'm dimly beginning to realize that the only thing that separates him from Daniel Cabrera is four inches.(of height, don't put your minds in the gutter!) Okay, that's too harsh, but he wasn't great last season.

One could say he'd barely qualify as good for last season. Wins are an overrated stat, true. Still, when your ace pitcher goes 9-7, how good are you going to be? When your ace pitcher doesn't take conditioning seriously and has a temper that is counterproductive to his goals, what can you do?

He did put up a 3.77 ERA, which in the era of the home run is exceptional. But Zambrano insists he's going to retire in a couple of years, which makes his oddness worse.

Tom Gorzelanny is a surprise entry to this list. I firmly believe he can be a solid third starter on this team, after Zambrano, who insists he's cleaned up his act, and Ryan Dempster.

If Carlos Silva is your No. 3 starter, something has gone dreadfully wrong and everyone will probably be fired at the end of the season. If Jeff Samardzija is your No. 3, there's a possibilty you'll lose 90 games. And Ted Lilly is injured. Gorzelanny is a lefty like Lilly, but as I've always insisted, he needs a chance somewhere AWAY FROM PITTSBURGH. So Gorzo will now conspire against me and put up an ERA of 6.66.

The Cardinals will have a full season of Holliday hitting behind Pujols. They picked up Felipe Lopez to man the shortstop position. Colby Rasmus will build upon his immense promise. Ryan Ludwick will continue to be Ryan Ludwick. They're the most dangerous team in the division by FAR.

But the Cubs, despite not having Kerry Wood, Mark DeRosa, Jason Marquis, and others from the 2008 team, still give me hope that they'll surprise me by winning the division. I wouldn't count on it, but Hendry, who probably has a pink slip in his dubious future,  dumped the jackass in the picture on Seattle. So, as Kevin Garnett once yelled "ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE!"

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In an alternate universe, Boy George has won five or six Grammys, Michael Jordan is a hall of fame baseball player, Jason Voorhies rescues teenagers, and the Cubs have won multiple rings, while the Yankees just had their first playoff series in fourteen years.

Sadly, we're in THIS universe, and in this universe the Chicago Cubs have watched their bats turn into wet noodles against the Arizona Diamonbacks. For those who care,the Red Sox won their second World Series in 2007, their second in four years, leading the Cubs into 2008 with questions that could not be answered with a sweep of the magic wand.

First, Mark Prior's career in Chicago, which had started with such great promise, finally came to an infuriating end when he signed with the Padres.

Here's an honest question: If Mark Prior has a Dusty Baker voodoo doll, would anyone be surprised? Sometimes I look at Dusty Baker and ask how the G.M of the Reds, who for some reason I keep thinking is Wayne Krivsky though I'm sure I remember him being fired, can trust Dusty with Homer Bailey, but then again the Reds need no help from Dr. Salvador (Chris Gruler, anyone?)

Jacque Jones was shown the door in a move that later came back to haunt the Cubs in the worst possible way, but NOT in 2008. Since I need to give voice to my intense rage about the 2009 season, let's sum it up in bullet points:

Rich Harden

Ryan Dempster

Soriano, for 17 million, put .280-29-76.

97 wins, most in National League

Right-handed dominated lineup

3-0 sweep by the Dodgers

Your 2008 World Series Champions: Philadelpihia Phillies.

Cubs folded up like an old, bad card table.

------------------------------------2009------------------------

Dan Bernstein, who is half of one of the greatest duos in sports radio history, opened the 2009 free agency period by saying, after hearing that Milton Bradley was being shown interest by Cubbie Blue, that as a sports fan he didn't want Bradley here. But as a talk radio host, he wanted Bradley on the Cubs.

This is because Jim Hendry and a small circle of moronic Cub fans believed that the reason the Cubs did their Iron Mike Sharpe impression against the Dodgers was because they didn't have a lefty in the middle of the order, forgetting that the Dodgers had, and have had for years, a great rotation regardless of the lineup being put on the field against them. Bradley was and is a well-known train wreck.

He's been run off every team he's ever been a member of, he embarrassed himself by injuring himself while arguing with an umpire, he's an extremely selfish player, just an all-around bad guy. And while we're at it, here comes the rant. I've been waiting to lay this one down for about 14 months, and here's the best opportunity to do so.

So Jim Hendry decides, after Bradley has an admitted good year in Texas, to go after this pile of kitty litter because he's a switch-hitter. At about the same time Adam Dunn and Bobby Abreu become free agents.

Adam Dunn loves Wrigley Field. And despite whatever some brain-dead hack sportswriter might think, Dunn is the ultimate protection for DeLee and Aramis Ramirez. See, Dunn draws walks. When he does make contact, he launches the ball.

Adam Dunn in Cubbie Blue would have been...oh, the box scores!! The guy strikes out 120 times a year? He also walks 100 times a year, hits 30-40 homers a season, and he's still a pretty damn good player. That was the number one guy on my wish list.

But no, we can't have him despite years of success. No, the goddamned NATIONALS sign him. THE NATIONALS. Words cannot express my dismay at this.

Wait, there's Bobby Abreu. Yankees don't want him anymore. He'd be a great fit at Wrigley, he could hit third in front of DeLee and Aramis he has a good OBP. He plays some semblance of defense and he'll come cheap...wait, what's that? They signed Bradley? 3 yrs, $33 million dollars?

What kind of idiot are you, Jim Hendry? Your job is not to waste money, it's to win! Milton Bradley is not a winner, he's a tool and an obstruction to winning. And to pay this idiot $33 million dollars when you could have had Dunn for half that that and Abreu for 1/5.

The minute I heard they signed Bradley, I shook my head. Not that I believed Bradley would completely destroy the clubhouse and be a complete scumbag to such a point that the team would win 83 games after everyone-and I mean EVERYONE OUTSIDE OF ST.LOUIS-predicted they would win the division.

But I knew Bradley wouldn't be a good teammate.

Think about this: Cleveland, when they were starved for offense and were forced to play Matt Lawton in right field-they didn't want him.

San Diego would rather stick a combination of Verne Troyer and a cocaine-addled Gary Dourdan out there than keep this jerk in town.

The Dodgers would call Adam Carolla, who just happens to be awesome except at big-league baseball, before they called Bradley's agent. 

So what made Jim Hendry think Mlton Bradley had changed his tune?

Yes, the Cubs stunk. Yes, they lost Ramirez and others to injuries that stunted them, while the Cardinals went Hulk Hogan on them, even finishing with a particularly painful Atomic Leg Drop (acquisition of John Smoltz) while the Cubs sat on ther hands and Kevin Gregg sucked worse than the second Blair Witch movie (not that the first one was any great shakes). But the final straw before the final straw was Bradley.

Cubs fans would tell me his OBP was good, thus he was good. No. That is not how it works. You know what's a good stat: OPS. A good player has an OPS above .800 over a full season. In 124 games, Bradley's was .775. This does not work. 66/95 K/BB ratio is even worse. Milton Bradley was not up there swinging the bat, he was screwing this team when it needed him to hit. The guy wasn't trying. I know when a player puts in real effort, and he didn't give a crap.

Then in the final weeks of the season, he had the nerve to accuse the bleacher fans of racism, yet could not provide a single instance. Jim Hendry suspended him in September. It was too late.

Milton Bradley is a scumbag. You know why we haven't won anything in 100 years? Because we don't go after Adam Dunn's and Bobby Abreu's, we go after clods like him. And he had the biggest possible hand in the destruction of the 2009 Chicago Cubs.

I blame Hendry, I blame Piniella, but most of all I blame myself for getting my hopes up.

Update: I heard from Boers and Bernstein that when Hendry announced Bradley was suspended members of the Cubs cheered. Am I surprised? What do you think?

I'll tell you right now. If Milton Bradley comes back, this team, the 2010 Chicago Cubs, will extend that 101 year old drought to 102. But this article is over because I can't think of ways to express my anger that wouldn't scare little children, and I have other things to write about, such as a certain football team that wears a golden helmet.

This one will not be all that hard to write about, because I'm not a huge ND fan, but in the next one, I'll tell you why none of it surprises me.

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You'll forgive us if we didn't enjoy the Jan Brady-like feeling running through our veins during that entire series and subsequent off-season.

The Marlins have two rings, and the Cubs continue to play foil for teams we fans thought our teams were better than.

In 2004, though, it seemed things were looking up. After Eric Karros went out to pasture and Hee Seop Choi didn't develop, the Cubs managed to catch the Marlins on yet another fire sale and acquire the villain of the NLCS, Derrek Lee, shoring up one of the few infield weaknesses.

Things got better when the day before my 21st birthday, Greg Maddux came home to the city that introduced him to the MLB audience (and something I will NEVER forgive the Cubs front office for) and suddenly the Cubs had the best rotation in the National League. It was suddenly a question of 'Who could beat this rotation?'

At Busch Stadium, Walt Jocketty slipped on his Darth Vader mask. Cue the ominous Star Wars music. Because Jock had AP5, and Jim Edmonds at his borderline hall-of-famer best, and Scott Rolen at his most dangerous.

The Cardinals pretty much shook their head pityingly at the Cubs that season, and then ran away from them and the rest of the National League like Usain Bolt.

This race was over quicker than a Charlie Weis diet, and the Cubs were fighting with the Astros and the Giants for the Wild Card.

It was a tense clubhouse. During the previous season Sammy Sosa, if he can be believed, grabbed the wrong bat and exploded his reputation, along with the Louisville Slugger.

Instead of really understanding what he did wrong or apologizing, Sosa grew a Fu Manchu goatee and basically started acting like Dr.Evil.

Dusty Baker then really stuck it to a superstar he'd had nothing but problems with by claiming he prohibited the use of corked bats on his team (Sosa's always been believed to be a cheater even as the rest of his bats were clean...figure it out).

He'd completely alienated the fans, but then some Cubs fans...well, listen to Chicago sports radio, you'll know what I mean. On top of all of this, Alex Gonzalez was hearing it from Cubs fans all that season for his performance in the NLCS, forgetting his role in getting the Cubs there, and it completely destroyed his play.

Jim Hendry did some wheeling and dealing, and acquired Nomar Garciaparra from the Red Sox. Nomar was in the process of destroying his potential hall-of-fame chances by seeming to forget what "playing hurt" means, and in retrospect, theirs was the wrong move.

Gonzalez went to what remained of the Montreal Expos, Garciaparra and his considerable ego moved in, and there was no sense that this team was really good enough to be playing in the post-season.

The Cardinals were run by, arguably, the best GM in the National League. And when he grabbed Larry Walker, who despite being on the downside of his career still brought much value to the eventual NL Champion Cardinals than Garciaparra ever brought to the Cubs, and it was when this deal was announced on Aug. 6 that you could feel the air go out of the Cubs potential division winning.

Sosa was so-so, putting up a .253 batting average with 35 homers and 80 runs batted in. Not what you want out of your "superstar," downside of his career or not.

Then LaTroy Hawkins, who wasn't and never was a closer, no matter what any of his managers may have thought, pretty much blew the Cubs up.

They lost the Wild Card to Houston, Sosa finally cut his last ties to the Chicago Cubs like an idiot, going out like Terrell Owens, and the Cubs were ready for 2005 (I would have a moment in the sun as my 1B team, the Boston Red Sox, came from a 3-0 deficit against the despised New York Yankees and went on to win the Series...against the aforementioned Cardinals).

The Cubs had won 89 games, yet had the misfortune to play in a division with the Cards and Astros.

With Sosa gone, the Cubs expected a lighter clubhouse, and a better record. Well, they got halfway there. Picked to win the division by some publications, they went 79-83, cratered, and it was awful to watch.

However, I didn't see any of this, as by then I had mercifully moved to Minnesota, otherwise my rage would have been worse than it was, as Mr.Garciaparra qualified for workman's comp more than the batting titles that had been envisioned, the bullpen failed more than the Timberwolves, and Dusty Baker continued his impression of Dr. Salvador, using his chainsaw to cut through the tendons in Mark Prior's right arm.

Then came 2006.

Jacque Jones signed as a free agent, and Mr.Slap-and-Run, Juan Pierre, was acquired in a fire-sale trade with the Marlins. Speaking of the Marlins, maybe the Cubs should start looking at them as the enemy. Somehow whenever the Cubs trade with the Marlins, something goes wrong.

Somehow, whenever the Cubs have a meeting with the Marlins, a screwjob happens. I was convinced Vince McMahon was pulling the strings behind the Marlins, and the Cubs had the opportunity to play Bret Hart. Not really smart.

The Cubs finished 66-96, and Dusty Baker had completely destroyed the clubhouse by his willingness to destroy the respect of the players, him and his damned toothpick.

It was a bad season all around, as Juan Pierre continued to rack up 200-hit seasons while posting OBP's below .350 and slugging percentages that would bring a smile to the face of a Little Leaguer.

And Juan Pierre is NOT Ichiro Suzuki. Juan Pierre is not 1/10th of the player Ichiro Suzuki is. That random bit of info is in reference to the fact that Ichiro hits 7,000 singles a year, like Pierre.

Unlike Pierre, Ichiro's heard of a walk, and unlike Pierre, pitchers actually fear him because Ichiro can hit the ball further than 200 feet.

Baker finally was dumped by Jim Hendry, who told Baker he was not bringing him back for the 2007 season. I heard, but did not confirm, that Derrek Lee and Aramis Ramirez were overheard singing "Ding, Dong, the witch is dead."

And Aramis has a hell of a singing voice, according to my source, doing the entire song with impressive breath control.

Before I proceed to the 2007 Chicago Cubs, I need to go off on a mini-rant here.

As you well know, Baker is one of the leading proponents of the theory that people with high on-base percentages "clog up the bases unless they can run well."

One of the people he shares this with is Joe Morgan, who ironically is one of the all-time leaders in OBP. But anyway, here's a thought: Has it ever occurred to Mr. Baker that this is why he's never won anything?

Despite my hatred for the Yankees, when they were winning back in the late 90s before Jason Giambi arrived and was bad, they didn't need window-breakers. They won with Bernie Williams, Derek Jeter, Tino Martinez, some washed-up vets, and an impressive array of arms.

Not because Joe Torre stood in the dugout and gave the famous "Joe Torre look" immortalized in one of Charles Schulz' last Peanuts comic strips before the legendary cartoonist passed into time.

The best player in baseball over the past five years, a guy who plays for the Cardinals and wears No. 5, has had OBP's well over .370, and a few of those have been over .400. Oh, and he's got a World Series ring.

So the last thing I would need to read from some lunkhead with a toothpick in his mouth is how people "clog up the bases."

Because the one thing Dusty forgets is, if this half-baked theory wasn't in his mind, had he put a few high OBP guys who run like dump trucks on ahead of Barry Bonds, HE'D HAVE A RING BY NOW, AND HE WOULDN'T BE MANAGING THE HOPELESS CINCINNATI REDS. Endeth the sermon.

Anyway, the Cubs surprised me with their next hire. Fully expecting Jim Hendry to hire someone out of the system who would come cheap, the Cubbies locked up Sweet Lou Piniella to a three-year deal, got Mark DeRosa to play second, and it all looked good...

Until the Cubs bid against themselves, basically, locking up Alfonso Soriano to an eight-year deal worth about $17 million a year.

Soriano was about to turn 31 at that point. At the time, as all sports fans do with contracts that huge, all I could think about was that Soriano would be 39 and making 17 million long after his production was gone.

All I could think of was, could you imagine what Ted Williams would command in today's market, with free agency?

Soriano is a good player, yes. $17 million a season worth? We were about to find out.

He sure as hell wasn't worth it in the first month. As a matter of fact, it now becomes a question: Despite my love for Soriano as a player, who decided he was worth $136 million?

With the Cubs sinking out of sight, Derrek Lee demanded the presence of every Cubs player in a meeting. Derrek Lee is 6'5, 245 pounds, no one with any sense is going to turn him down.

Something happened during this meeting, because with Carlos Zambrano spitting fire because of Michael Barrett's mistakes, and Zambrano not being known as the Marquis of Queensbury, there was no avoiding what happened next: In full view of the television cameras, Barrett, who the previous season had been involved in an altercation with the universally loathed A.J. Pierzynski, began yelling at Zambrano, and Zambrano responded with 1) a burst of unrepeatable Spanish curse words, and 2) a right cross.

While the Braves whacked the Cubs on the field, the two repaired to the clubhouse and battled. Lou Piniella got himself ejected for kicking an umpire in the very next game.

You know those hokey stories about how fights clear the air and unite the team? Those exist only in the imagination, kids.

In reality, Barrett was not done, arguing with Rich Hill after Hill gave up an RBI single to Jared Washburn (Jared Washburn? Really?)

Barrett cost the Cubs that game, and Jim Hendry had had enough. Barrett was traded to San Diego, and suddenly the Cubs were winning.

And they kept winning, driving the Brewers back like Orlando Pace in his prime, leading to an excellent finish where the Brewers cratered and the Cubs grabbed the edge of the cliff.

Only for the Diamondbacks to smack the smile off the faces of Cubs fans by smothering the Cubs' potent offense.

So wrapping part 2, we poise at the edge of the historic 2008 season. In the final chapter, after the 2008 season, I'll cover the 2009 season in detail.

And everything you will read will be laced with anger and red-tinged rage because of the failure the 2009 season ultimately became.

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For the uninitiated, or the few people who pretend they don't care, Dr. Salvador is the giant guy with the chainsaw in Resident Evil Four.

Among other things he can do besides cut your head off, he can teleport to the top of a ladder you're climbing and cut your head off, he can teleport ahead of you and cut your head off, he can break down the door of a room you're in and cut your head off-notice a pattern?

Being a Cubs fan is like being on the business end of that chainsaw.

Pre-1950, the last Cubs WS, as any baseball fan knows, was won in 1908. Since then, the Cubs have been on the receiving end of much mythology (the Homer in the Gloamin, Ruth's called shot, etc) with little or nothing to show for it. This team, in fact, went the entire 1950's, 60's, and 70's without a single playoff experience.

In 1983, I was born. Apparently I was a better luck charm than any, because the Cubs made the NLCS the very next year (and got run off the field by the inferior San Diego Padres, who then jobbed out to the rampaging Detroit Tigers.)

As I grew up, I was vaguely aware that there were two teams in Chicago, one called the South Side Hit Men, AKA the Chicago White Sox, and the other called the Cubs.

As a kid, the White Sox just seemed more exciting when I finally became a full-time baseball fan in 1993, having seen a few ALCS games a year or so earlier. They had one of the best hitters ever in Frank Thomas, an exciting young third baseman and all around winner in Robin Ventura, and a catcher who I, weirdly, identified with named Ron Karkovice, not knowing he was really a below-average player, I thought he was the greatest thing since sliced bread.

The Cubs? I didn't really know much about them, except this Lefevbre guy won more than he lost.

Nowadays, that's not really a measure of a good manager, but cut me a break, I was 10. I knew this guy named Sammy Sosa who was fast, a first baseman named Grace, and a second baseman named Sandberg who hit second.

I couldn't figure it out: Harry Carey and Steve Stone talk about this Sandberg guy like he's Hank Aaron, but he didn't seem that good to me, if he's so good, why does he hit second?

Yeah, I was a dumb kid back then.

Years progress, and people pass through: Eric Yelding, Kevin Roberson, Luis Salazar, Steve Buchele, and a host of others.

Then the White Sox fired Gene Lamont, who wasn't exactly a nice guy to begin with, and about this time, Rick Wilkins had a 30 homer season. It was Rick Wilkins, later that season, who participated in the play that summed up my later years as a Cubs fan, but more on that later.

Suddenly I began paying attention to the Cubs, and as I did, even though they lost a lot, they were fun.

Wilkins was coming off the 30 homer season, where before and after, he was garbage.

Anyway, a game the Cubs are losing in San Diego to those accursed Padres by either one or two runs, Wilkins gets inserted as a pinch hitter by, I believe, Jim Riggleman. Wilkins was fading and didn't have confidence anymore, but he got hold of one off Trevor Hoffman and launches it to dead center field.

Steve Finley happens to be manning center, and he jumps over the wall and catches the ball. Obviously, the Cubs lost that game, and they've lost plenty more, but 1998 brought me back from the brink.

That was the year Harry went away.

He fell down steps and died, and the Cubs dedicated the season to him. Then Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa (and Greg Vaughn to a much lesser extent) went on that historic home run binge, and baseball was fun again. Except on the South Side, but that's something to write about in another article.

Never mind the Cubs getting swept by the Braves after that heroic effort in game 163 against Barry Bonds, an elderly Joe Carter, and the Giants.

I was ecstatic.  They can build upon this, can't they?

No, they couldn't.

The years passed, Kerry Wood struck out 20 batters, Sosa continued to batter the ball, and the Cubs continued to finish not where they deserved to be.

Finally, Riggleman went away–I try to forget Don Baylor exists–and was replaced, after a joker named Bruce Kimm pretended he was the manager of the Chicago Cubs, by Dusty Baker.

In retrospect, Dusty Baker was Dr. Salvador, only he went after arms instead of necks. Wood and Superman, AKA Mark Prior, kept having these high pitch counts in high-inning starts. And as any doctor will tell you, repeatedly throwing a ball will have disastrous results. But before that, the magical 2003 season hit.

Everything seemed to be going right.

Prior was automatic. Wood matched him strikeout for strikeout. Moises Alou urinated on his hands quite a bit to the tune of 280-22-91, and he slumped at the end of the season or he would have finished over .300.

Of course, there was Sammy Sosa, who despite coming to the end of his tenure in Chicago put up a .279-40-103, and he got help from newcomer Aramis Ramirez and Alou.

It was pitching, though, with Prior, Wood, and Carlos Zambrano firing BB's across the plate, and after defeating the Braves in the NLDS and coming home to Chicago up 3-2 on Florida, (the final game in Florida being one I believe Dusty Baker intentionally lost) it looked good, because it would be Prior and Wood, and we had to like our chances.

One of my best friends, at that time, was and is a rabid Cubs fan. The one game I ever attended was with him, and the Cubs lost to the accursed Marlins back when Andre Dawson was a member of the Marlins coaching staff.

The point is, when they lost that game, he was outside Wrigley Field yelling "we'll get em tomorrow." So when Prior went into the eighth inning up 3-0, everyone in Chicago was readying themselves for a wild celebration...or at most Cub fans, Sox fans seem to hate Cub fans more than Cub fans hate them.

I don't believe in curses, but after what was about to take place, my faith in the non-existence of curses was shaken to it's foundation.

With one out, and the awful Juan Pierre at second Luis Castillo hit a foul ball to left field. A man wearing a cap and headphones reached slightly over the fence for a foul ball. Replays later showed that Steve Bartman's hand was merely inches over the glove of Moises Alou, and when Bartman touched the ball, it was a borderline call whether it was fan interference or not. The umpire in left field ruled it wasn't, and watching replays, I hate to say it, but it wasn't.

Had Alou kept his cool, Prior might have gotten out of the inning and turned the game over to Joe Borowski. Alou did not do so, and then the roof fell in, and the Cubs took what Mark Twain would call "a clodding"

Lowlights: Alex Gonzalez committed a bad error, future Cub All-Star Derrek Lee tied the game with a double,  MIKE FRIGGIN MORDECAI clears the bases with a double, and suddenly the game and the series are over.

And I will NEVER forget the looks on the faces of fellow Cubs fans after Game Seven was over. Wherever David Lemmon was at that time, I guarantee he was not saying "we'll get em tomorrow" after Game Six.

As I wrap up Part One of this article leading up to the 2009 Chicago Cubs, which I will discuss in detail, this was my first brush with true hope for this team, and I was convinced there would be more next season, which would be the 2004 season.

TBC.

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