The Declaration Of Incompetence: Rise Up, Cubs Fans!

December 3, 2009 by  

All men are created equal and endowed with certain inalienable rights. Specifically, as Thomas Jefferson said, these rights are three: to life, to liberty, and to the pursuit of happiness.

Baseball fans, however, have a fourth right, which no front office or ownership group may ever deny without consequence: the pursuit of a championship. Just as our forefathers once threw off the bonds of tyranny, so should we abolish forthwith any management group that fails to make forward progress in this, the fourth respect.

That is the cause that draws my fingers to the keys today, O brave Cubs fans. This is not a news piece; it is open rebellion. It is a five-alarm, code red, all-h...

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